CONTENTS
- Preface xvii
- Introduction: So You’re Getting Married! 1
- Part I
- PLANNING YOUR WEDDING
- Chapter One
- What Is Interfaith? A Philosophy of the Heart 9
- The Religious 15
- The Spiritual 16
- The Cultural 18
- The Personal 19
- Interlude: Anna and Josh, a former Evangelical Christian–agnostic Protestant Jewish couple 21
- Chapter Two
- Tell Me All About It: A Questionnaire for Couples 25
- Logistics 28
- Envisioning your ceremony 28
- Your backgrounds and families 29
- Matters of the heart: about your relationship 31
- About yourself 34
- The questionnaire. Enjoy! 36
- Interlude: Annette and Robert, a Greek Orthodox–Lutheran couple 39
- Chapter Three
- Practicalities: The Nuts and Bolts of Any Wedding 42
- The setting: where will your wedding take place? 42
- The celebrant: who will marry you? 44
- Working with your celebrant 47
- The license 51
- The rehearsal 51
- The microphone 52
- The music 52
- The sacred space 52
- Interlude: Christine and Dave, a Catholic–Mormon couple 53
- Chapter Four
- Family Matters: Working with Family and Friends Throughout the Wedding Process 56
- Communication is key; listen from the heart 58
- Letting go may be hard 59
- Ask for your parents’ support and blessing 59
- Let your parents find their own peace with your marriage 61
- Let there be no uncomfortable surprises 62
- Reassure your parents that your heritage need not disappear 63
- Assure your parents that you’ve chosen your partner out of love, not rebellion 65
- Do not assume you know how your parents will react 66
- Having a sense of humor helps 67
- Encourage your parents to reach out to your spouse and his or her family 68
- If your parents are too shy to reach out, do it yourself 68
- Lean on your friends for support 69
- Consider honoring your close family members 70
- Think of ways to involve the children 71
- Consider acknowledging the death of a loved one 72
- If a family member or close friend is ill, consider acknowledging them 74
- Interlude: Sven and Elizabeth, an Episcopalian–Catholic couple 76
- Chapter Five
- The Interfaith Ceremony: Its Components and Structure 79
- A word about rituals 80
- Building your ceremony 80
- Procession 81
- Ritual (optional) 83
- Opening words 83
- Reading(s) (optional) 86
- Honoring of family members (optional) 87
- Celebrant’s address 89
- Prayer (optional) 91
- Declaration of intent 92
- Ritual(s) (optional) 93
- Silent prayer (optional) 93
- Vows 93
- Blessing and exchange of rings 95
- Pronouncement 96
- Kiss 96
- Closing blessing 96
- Ritual (optional) 97
- Recession 98
- Interlude: Ginger and Stevie, a Jewish–Catholic couple 99
- Part II
- THE MANUAL: Turning Religious, Cultural, and Universal Rituals, Prayers, Vows, and Blessings into Interfaith Celebrations
- Chapter Six
- A Menu of General Wedding Rituals and Traditions 105
- Veiling and unveiling of the bride 105
- Exchanging of rings 106
- Sharing of a cup of wine 106
- Breaking of bread 107
- Handfasting, or binding of the hands 108
- Candle lighting ceremony 110
- Releasing of butterflies 111
- Releasing of doves 112
- Chapter Seven
- Universal Passages for Almost Any Wedding: Romantic Selections from Literature, Philosophy, and History 114
- Opening words 114
- Readings 115
- Honoring of family members 126
- Prayers and blessings 127
- Vows 130
- Blessing of rings 133
- Ring vows 133
- Pronouncement 135
- Kiss 136
- Chapter Eight
- Religions and Their Marriage Practices: A Menu of Elements 137
- Baha’i 137
- Buddhism 140
- Christianity 148
- Confucianism 157
- Hinduism 159
- Islam 168
- Jainism 173
- Judaism 175
- Native American Spirituality 188
- Shinto 191
- Sikhism 195
- Sufism 200
- Taoism 204
- Zoroastrianism 207
- Chapter Nine
- Wedding Customs from Around the World 212
- Afghani 212
- African-American 213
- Arabic or Middle Eastern 221
- Armenian 221
- Austrian 222
- Bulgarian 222
- Cambodian 222
- Chinese 223
- Cyprian 225
- Czech 225
- Danish 225
- Dutch 225
- Egyptian 226
- English 226
- Filipino 226
- Finnish 227
- French 227
- German 227
- Greek 228
- Hawaiian 228
- Hungarian 229
- Indian 229
- Indonesian 230
- Iranian 231
- Irish 232
- Italian 233
- Japanese 233
- Korean 234
- Laotian 235
- Latin American, Central American, and Spanish 235
- Latvian 236
- Malaysian 236
- Mexican 237
- Moroccan 237
- Norwegian 238
- Pakistani 238
- Polish 238
- Portuguese 239
- Romanian 239
- Russian 239
- Samoan 240
- Scandinavian 240
- Scottish 240
- Spanish 240
- Sudanese 241
- Swedish 241
- Swiss 241
- Part III
- IN THEIR OWN WORDS: Eight Interfaith, Intercultural Couples, Their Love Stories and Wedding Ceremonies
- Leah and Zack, a Jewish–Iranian couple 245
- Natasha and Phillip, a Hindu–Jewish couple 252
- Mercedes and Jack, a converted Buddhist–Jewish couple 262
- Vicki and Karl, a Greek Orthodox–Jewish couple 269
- Marie and Luigi, an Italian-American Catholic couple 277
- Chantè and Judah, an African-American, Native American, Baptist-French, Russian Jewish, Sufi, Rastafarian couple 284
- Sylvia and Fakir, an African-American Christian–Moroccan
- Muslim couple 293
- Jacqueline and Kenneth, a Born-Again Christian–Jewish couple 300
- Epilogue 305
- Resources 307
- A Final Word 309
- Permissions Acknowledgments 311
